I'm very excited to finally sit down and review the album "Until It Gets Bitter" by I Didn't Water My Orchids Last Week. The unfortunate reality is, though I think it is better for my creative process and time management, switching to bi-weekly reviews has unfortunately pushed a lot of artists further down the calendar, and I feel terrible that people who have submitted music in January won't be getting their reviews until months later. I am trying my best to be accommodating but unfortunately, that's just how it's working out. I am grateful for everyone's patience, and this is an inter-review I've been excited about for quite a while. I Didn't Water My Orchids Last Week is a solo project from Bethlehem, PA, made up entirely of Quinn Patella. Quinn and I have crossed paths quite a few times throughout our local music scene; just last week I was fortunate enough to share a stage with them for my album anniversary show at Round Guys Brewery in Lansdale. “Until It Gets Bitter” was released on May 24th, 2024, and was written and recorded between September 2023 to April 2024. On Quinn's bandcamp page for this album, they wrote a great little blurb about this album that I would love to share:
“Codependency is addiction at its worst because it is directly interlinked with the likes of another person with their own issues and their own life -- when a codependent relationship ends, all that comes out of it is an explosive mess of emotion -- scorched earth. Losing that person that you are stuck to becomes the end of the world, everything crashes around you and you feel like you are dying -- you get trapped in confusing cycles of grief and could end up finding yourself coping with the loss in the worst ways possible.
'until it gets bitter' is a loose sequel to 'stay sweet forever', taking topics discussed on that album and expanding them -- in the case of this album, withdrawal from a partner due to a breakup takes the forefront -- with the coping mechanisms and trapped cycle of denial, anger, and bargaining being focused on. this album is a very vulnerable thing for me, I started it in September and became obsessed with specific tracks on it -- ultimately, it subconsciously became a way for me to prevent myself from moving on from the loss that inspired the work -- I'd still be working on this release if i had not forced myself to be content with it.
this album follows my grief as I wrote it and recorded it in real time -- illustrating my life from September 2023 to April 2024, where I coped with a breakup, dealt with old traumas, lost friends, made friends, forgave old friends, developed bad coping mechanisms, ended said mechanisms, cut people off, and fell in love. Ultimately, 'until it gets bitter' is an ode and celebration of a really bad time of my life and serves as a testament of the human ability of resilience.
stay sweet forever, until it gets bitter”
Let's get right into it!
march:
The first track on this album features Carter C and clocks in at right around six minutes long. I absolutely adore the creativity in their conception of noise. There are a lot of very unique and, oftentimes, confusing sounds, but they are all so well thought out and deliberate and it amazes me how some of these tones and styles were achieved. “march” has a bright sound radiating from it despite its upsetting lyrics that consist of reminiscence and being stuck in the past.
“Where did you go?
I held you close
I wish it were March
I wish you were still here”
is a blatantly vulnerable and direct stanza that repeats many times. There is no sugarcoating or withholding and hiding behind soft, poetic metaphors. These lyrics tell you exactly how they feel in the most literal way possible. However, Carter’s feature section is entirely anecdotal:
“I had this sewing machine, on my desk
collecting dust, for months and months,
when I left for college, my mom took it out
of my room
it was time to move on with my life
and that’s okay, cause I've grown and changed
I’m not the same girl as I was yesterday
I want to move on
but we put our froggy hats and our bunny hoods on
sing those same old songs
we wrote when we were so young
I want to move on”
The sewing machine acts as a metaphor for something once important but now collecting dust, possibly a symbol of a relationship or identity that no longer serves them. The mention of the mother taking it out of their room suggests an external force recognizing that it’s time to let go, even if the person hadn’t fully accepted it yet; almost exactly what Carter is now doing for Quinn. This aligns with the difficulty of a relationship ending, where external changes sometimes push us forward before we're emotionally ready. There is a self-awareness and the realization that personal evolution necessitates leaving behind old attachments. The final stanza carries a sense of poetic closure. The appeal to heaven breaking off might symbolize the end of a desperate hope that things could return to how they were. The falling petals suggest that, rather than clinging to the past, the speaker is allowing the relationship to wither naturally, understanding that it’s part of the cycle of life. The act of self-forgiveness reinforces the idea that letting go is not failure but a necessary step toward healing. This is a beautiful opening track to this album, really laying out the ideas and story it plans on delving into. Overall, the song captures the tension between nostalgia and growth, the difficulty of breaking old patterns, and the bittersweet beauty of moving on. The end of this song actually includes a beautiful sample; it is an audio snippet of Sylvia Plath reading “Flower Herding on Mount Monadnock” in her final recording before her death. She reads,
“The appeal to heaven breaks off.
the petals begin to fall, in self-forgiveness.
It is a flower. On this mountainside it is dying”
as the song comes to an end. I Didn't Water My Orchids Last Week has a wide range of various sounds and vibes throughout this discography, but this song in particular really felt similar to the artist Flatsound. I love the themes unique and creative usage of all sorts of different noises and instruments to tell a story and really hone in on a visceral and palpable vibe.
victorian summers:
This track was originally released as a single on February 2nd, 2024. The song opens with another sample, this one comes from a blooper reel of an obscure commercial from the 1950s or 1960s. I am such a nerd about niche samples in music, I love them so much. I think using them properly is an art style on its own, and I think it's so much fun trying to figure out where they came from and how they are relevant to the song. After this intro sample, there is a video game-esque sound that transitions us into the rushed and manic strumming of a guitar and the booming drum beat with a very nice bass like hanging out subtly, deep in the mix. This song sounds like it was pulled right out of an 8-bit video game. Not going over the top with identifiable and iconic video game samples, but clearly using a bitcrusher to great intensities and making the song feel pixelated, for lack of better wording. The vocals are somewhat mumbled and overpowered by the instrumentals, nothing is necessarily the focal point, everything Is directly working together and most of the levels of the mix are even across the board. Here and there, there is a scratchy, static-like effect on the vocals as well as some screaming portions that really help emphasize the fuzz and 8-bit quality of the song. As far as lyrics, the opening captures a sense of arrested development, “ten weeks to grow up” feels symbolic of a brief, perhaps futile attempt at maturing or healing. The speaker misses a possibility, not just a person. A relationship that never fully bloomed. "Victorian summers" evokes nostalgia, fragility, and decay. A romanticized past that was isolating and bittersweet.
"I’ll eat out
I’ll throw up
and I will love you again
Lose 10 pounds, lose myself
Rethinking what the fuck I meant"
This is a deeply self-destructive cycle of binging and purging paralleled with emotional relapse. There's a desperate, performative attempt at control, manifested through body image, which becomes entwined with emotional erasure. It’s disordered, chaotic, and honest in its turmoil. The second verse adds a façade of improvement. There are quotation marks around the lyrics “I’m feeling much better”, which suggests irony, or a lie that is something the speaker tells others, and/or themselves, to sound okay. The imagery of the easel and throwing paint is expressive and violent, suggesting art as a means of catharsis, but also destruction. The final line "when I throw my paint onto the —" being cut off leaves the act unfinished, emphasizing interruption, suppression, or unresolved emotion. This little tidbit is also somewhat of a reference to Van Gogh and a letter he wrote to his brother, suggesting that he was “feeling much better” shortly before he died. This song is a portrait of someone grappling with emotional trauma, self-worth, and unresolved love. The speaker is tangled in a loop of nostalgia, disordered behavior, and fleeting attempts at healing. The lyrics blend romanticism with stark realism, creating a contrast between idealized memories and present dysfunction.
my clothes still smell like you:
Track Three opens with a quick glitch/static sound and is followed up by a soft guitar that is swollen with a high-pitched ringing that ceases once the vocals kick in. There is a watery, spacey, warbling effect throughout the song that is really neat. The clean guitar soon becomes distorted and aggressive, along with the once soft and timid vocals, now louder and angry. Now is probably a good time to mention (before we get too deep into this review) that I am referencing the lyrics written on bandcamp for this album, and it is really helpful that Quinn writes their lyrics like poetry. The way words are emphasized in capitalizing or surrounded by quotation marks or other punctuation is really beautiful and helps us make no mistake of what emotion they are trying to convey and evoke. The lyrics to this song are steeped in grief, obsession, and emotional paralysis. The speaker is trapped in the aftermath of loss and their actions become rituals of denial and desperation. The first lyrics,
“Clean the room
Deny that you're gone
Look outside
Another snowy day”
feel like a laundry list of tasks that either perpetuate grief or will eventually lead to an emotional recovery. Cleaning becomes symbolic; it is not just tidying up, but trying to purge memories. The snowy day outside echoes emotional numbness, stagnation, or a seasonal depression that mirrors their internal world.
“I crawl outside
I die like four times
every time I see someone
that looks like you”
This is both poetic and visceral. "Crawling" implies weakness, regression, or pain. To crawl on hands and knees is also as if they are begging and pleading, either to a lost person or the universe itself. Dying four times is somewhat silly in such a brutally depressing song. Even the additional word “like” as if the quantity of deaths has become irrelevant, they've lost count, and honestly it doesn't even matter because they have so many more metaphorical and emotional deaths of oneself left to experience. As the song continues, the speaker is engaging in compulsive acts to erase memory. But scent, one of the most emotionally evocative senses, lingers. The pivotal line is incredibly intimate and tragic. The idea that “it’s not enough. My clothes still smell like you” reinforces the futility of trying to cleanse oneself of someone they were deeply entangled with. The figurative “To-Do list” these lyrics act as continue into the final verse and finally reach the emotional climax:
“Sing a song
until you can’t breathe
Pray to a god
that you don’t believe
I CAN'T get rid of you
and I can't go back”
Music and prayer become acts of desperation; trying to process, cope, or find salvation, even in things the speaker doesn't believe in. There's a sense of spiritual and emotional exhaustion. The repetition of “can’t” locks the speaker in a purgatory between past and present. If "victorian summers" was a romanticized breakdown, "my clothes still smell like you" is the bleaker, colder aftermath, stripped of fantasy, left with raw sorrow.
our last good day:
Track four is a quick one, but it is pumped full of emotional and heartfelt lyrics as well as the most bittersweet instrumentation so far on this album. The acoustic guitar on this track feels like laying in a field of flowers on a sunny, but not too hot, day as the breeze lends itself to the perfect temperature. The drum beat is pounding like explosions coming from the sky, but an additional piano joins in playing a comforting melody that wraps us in a warm blanket of safety, familiarity, and repetition. The lyrics paint a bittersweet and intimate picture of a fleeting moment in a relationship. The song explores themes of love, longing, and the inevitable passing of a moment that can never be recaptured. The first stanza focuses on a moment of closeness. The imagery of the other person's face glowing suggests a radiant joy, and this is immediately followed by the description of cleaning their room, which is an act of care or an effort to create a shared space. Pressing hearts together shows vulnerability and deep emotional connection. The line "as if they’d both burst on through" conveys a sense of urgency or intensity, as if the emotions they’re feeling are so powerful that they might overwhelm them. This could have a double meaning by representing an explosion of love, something so emotional and passionate, paired with the dichotomy of something so destructive.
“And you held me so so close
as if I’d ever leave your room
And all that my eyes could see
were the very likes of you”
the line “as if I’d ever leave your room” takes on a deep tone of dependency and idealization. The room itself becomes a metaphor for emotional refuge, a bubble where everything feels safe, whole, and uninterrupted. It’s as though this perfect moment could be preserved forever within the confines of that room, which may symbolize a state of emotional isolation or protection from the outside world. There is an illusion of permanence as “all that my eyes could see were the very likes of you” captures a fixation on the other person. There is not just a visual observation but a total psychological absorption. This fixation on “the likes of you” suggests that the speaker might have romanticized or idealized the other person to the point of narrowing their reality down to only that person. There’s a sense of merging identities here, where the speaker can’t see anything outside of the other person’s presence. It’s as if they’re trying to convince themselves that the other person is the only thing that matters, which hints at an unhealthy level of dependency. Verse three introduces the motif of sleep and dreams, which often symbolize the subconscious or a deeper emotional realm. “I prayed we had the same dream” goes beyond a simple wish, it’s an expression of longing for complete emotional unity. The act of praying for the same dream suggests that the speaker wants to align their subconscious with the other person, making the connection not only physical and emotional but also metaphysical. Dreams represent the untouchable, the unspoken desires, and here the speaker is begging for that connection to extend into their shared inner worlds.
“And when I woke up
it was already dark outside
Left a note and tucked you in
and drove on home alone”
We have the passage of time and the inevitable fading of the perfect moment. Darkness, in this context, could symbolize a loss of clarity or a return to reality. The transition from light to dark suggests that the speaker is now waking up from the dreamlike state of intimacy into the harshness of the real world. There’s a recognition that this moment of emotional connection, while beautiful, is finite and fleeting. The act of leaving a note and tucking the other person in is tender, but it’s also a form of emotional distance. The note represents a trace, a lingering memory of the connection, but the act of driving home alone intensifies the feeling of separation. The speaker is left alone with their emotions, and the contrast between the closeness of the previous lines and the loneliness of “drove on home alone” suggests that, despite the profound intimacy they shared, they are ultimately isolated. The return to solitude emphasizes the transient, impermanent nature of this connection, underscoring the melancholy of knowing that such moments are fragile and not sustainable.
hairdye:
“hairdye” has very minimal instrumentation; there is a sparing use of guitar but majority of the song is held together by ambient background sound. The vocals have become more mumbled and drab, almost suggesting that the vocalist/speaker has become fully encapsulated in their melancholy depression. They barely have enough energy to project their voice, maybe even a lack of desire to be heard in the first place. The lyrics rely heavily on repetition. The repeated use of "lying" in the first verse immediately sets a tone of vulnerability, implying that the speaker is in a position of emotional openness or exposure. “Lying in your bed for the first time” suggests a new, intimate experience. There’s a sense of novelty here, perhaps a first encounter with someone significant. But the repetition of “lying my head” feels almost robotic or detached, suggesting that even within this vulnerable moment, there is some sense of emotional distance or uncertainty. It could be interpreted as a reflection on how, even in moments of closeness, the speaker might still be unsure or disconnected from the experience. The word "lying" might initially seem to refer simply to being in a physical position, but it’s also possible that the word carries the implication of deception or dishonesty. This dual meaning suggests a dissonance between the outward physical act of intimacy and the internal emotional state of the speaker.
“spent one month
without any enemies
you spent one month
you spent one month clean”
The line “spent one month without any enemies” speaks to a period of peace, but it’s presented almost passively. There’s no active confrontation, no conflict, just the absence of it. The speaker may have been in a space where external tensions or struggles have been absent, yet the emotional state of peace feels fleeting or unnatural. The repetition of “one month” reinforces a sense of temporality, implying that this peace, or state of cleanliness, is a moment in time rather than a permanent shift. It suggests a transition, but one that is ultimately fragile. This could reflect on themes of personal recovery or emotional detox, but with an undertone of uncertainty about whether such a change is lasting. A month is absolutely a good start, but only time will tell if this habit can be broken. The third and fourth verse go hand-in-hand, almost identical but not exactly, a reprieve that allows a little bit more context into the speaker’s thoughts.
“laying on your bed for the last time
laying my head, got something in my head I guess
laying on my own for the first time
laying all alone again
laying on your bed for the last time
I’ve got something, I’ve got nothing
laying on my own for the first time
laying all alone, laying alone, I guess”
The repetition of "laying my head" here is tinged with uncertainty or confusion. “Got something in my head I guess” hints at a thought or feeling that the speaker can’t fully articulate or understand, which could refer to mixed emotions about the end of the experience or relationship. The speaker goes straight from someone else’s bed to laying alone in their own bed. The speaker feels the weight of that solitude, implying discomfort or disconnection from the self. The sense of loneliness reinforces the cyclical nature of emotional withdrawal. It’s as if the speaker is trapped in a loop of experiencing and then losing connection, unable to break free from this emotional cycle. The line “I’ve got something, I’ve got nothing” is a powerful expression of internal conflict. It reflects the speaker’s emotional ambiguity; they have feelings, but they can't pinpoint exactly what those feelings are. It could refer to both an emotional attachment that has yet to be processed or an overwhelming sense of emptiness after the intimacy has faded. This contradiction mirrors the complexity of the situation. The speaker is not completely void of feelings, but they can’t fully grasp what they are either. This lyric also feels very much like “easy come, easy go”, one second something is there, the next it’s gone, one moment you have someone in your life, the next moment you are starting from scratch, back to being all by yourself. The repetition of “laying on my own for the first time” and “laying all alone, laying alone, I guess” brings the idea of solitude full circle. The loneliness now feels more definitive, even though the speaker isn’t fully sure if they want it or not. The phrase “I guess” at the end signals a resignation to the reality of being alone. There’s no certainty or peace in this solitude, only an acceptance of it, as if the speaker is coming to terms with their isolation but unsure of how to move forward emotionally.
an abundance of hotel amenities:
This track was originally released on October 31st way back in 2023. The track opens with a brief spoken word section, sounding like a voicemail or a distant, distorted, detached voice. I talked to Quinn quite a bit throughout my writing of this review, I wanted clarification and context on certain things, I wanted to make sure my review and interpretations were on the right track and wavelength, and when I asked them about this intro (and the eventual outro), they told me:
“It is kind of a divider between the sides of the album. The first half of the album is very much denial/ I miss you and still care about you- the second half is the reality of how abusive that relationship was. That’s the indicator that it got bitter.”
The spoken word intro says, “when I stepped out of the elevator, I was dizzy as fuck and didn’t know where I was -- but there I was, holding your stuff for you — I loved you then.”
The speaker has just stepped out of the elevator, implying that they are in a hotel or transient space, perhaps far from home or in an unfamiliar emotional state. The disorientation hints at a deeper sense of confusion or loss of direction in the relationship. The fact that they are “holding your stuff” suggests a role of caretaking or serving the other person, possibly symbolizing how they’ve taken on a burden in the relationship, despite not fully understanding where they are emotionally. The line “I loved you then” adds a poignant, almost wistful tone, indicating that this love is no longer present in the current moment, it's something that once was, but may now feel distant. The acoustic guitar fades in as this is spoken; there sweetness of the major chords while they are strummed somewhat hard, and a xylophone leads an even more sweet melody, feeling like a joyful awakening. This sound stays consistent through the lyrical portion of the song, but is quickly whisked away as the crackling spoken word enters back in, leading us to the finale of this track. The lyrics are short, as is the song, and emphasizes almost every line with duplication.
“you threw up
you threw up
in the parking garage
in the parking garage
your sister
your sister looked away
but I decided to stay
I wish you loved me
I wish you loved me
like you used to do
like you used to do
and will they know you?
and will they know you?
like I did?
like I did?”
The repetition of the phrase “you threw up” and the setting in the parking garage may seem like an awkward, even unpleasant, situation. However, it is also rich with meaning. Throwing up can symbolize emotional purging or a physical manifestation of overindulgence, perhaps from drinking or some other form of escapism. The parking garage, a typically cold and impersonal space, further emphasizes a sense of emotional detachment or a place of stagnation. The speaker, despite the unappealing circumstances, chooses to stay, contrasting with the action of the sister, who “looked away.” This shows a self-sacrificial aspect of the speaker, as they stay to help, even though the situation is unpleasant. The refrain “I wish you loved me like you used to do” reflects an underlying yearning for the past, a time when the relationship felt more reciprocal or genuine. The repetition of this wish emphasizes the speaker’s frustration with the current state of their relationship. They long for a love that feels lost or faded. The lines “And will they know you? Like I did?” raise the question of whether anyone else can truly understand the person the way the speaker does. There’s a sense of exclusivity in their bond, where the speaker believes they have a deeper connection or understanding of the other person that no one else can replicate. It’s a mournful realization that they are losing that connection, or that it has faded into something superficial. The outro begins as everything else crashes down and fades away:
“When I woke up in the middle of the night, I stared at you on the other side of the bed — calmly breathing, I just couldn’t stand it at all.”
This portion ties together the motif of “laying in bed” and flips it on its head. It is no longer a comfortable, intimate place. It is no longer pure loneliness. It has finally shifted to resentment, anger, possibly even hatred, but overall, it is bitter. The image of someone calmly breathing, seemingly at peace, contrasts sharply with the speaker’s internal turmoil. The stillness of the other person, while physically close, heightens the emotional distance felt by the speaker. It’s an intimate moment that, instead of bringing comfort, intensifies the speaker’s disconnection. They can’t stand it, perhaps because the calmness of the other person exposes the emotional unrest the speaker is experiencing. To me, it also feels as though it’s a representation of the phrase “how do you sleep at night” in reference to someone doing something horrible. This is the first time on the album where the speaker has started waking up to the reality and truth of this relationship. Waking up and realizing all the abuse they endured, all the sacrifices they made, all the time of restlessness and easiness and burden.
sandown clown:
Track seven opens with a sample from the first Fallout game, the overseer's ending speech. The acoustic guitar is soft and repetitive at the beginning as the vocals barely make out the words they are singing. There are sporadic jumps of pitch and intensity while singing but it ends up back to its desolate, intentionally uninspired mumbling. "Vultures picking up on the scraps on the side of paletown road". This opening image sets a grim tone. “Vultures” suggest decay, circling around the remnants of something once alive, most likely a metaphor for the relationship. The road and the scraps could symbolize the desolate aftermath of a breakup. This track calls back to “hairdye” and parallels with repurposed lyrics revolving around months and enemies:
“Spent one month without you
learn to be without you
coming up short, learn to be so much more
Spent four months as enemies
spent four months with an arrow in my back
it’s far too pretty to get on out now”
In between these stanzas, the guitar gets much more aggressive and the vocals start to muster up the courage to yell. Once achieved, the vocals are pretty consistently yelling With only occasional soft-spoken bits. We finally get the incredible reference of the band name; “I didn’t water my orchids last week” is a powerful metaphor. Orchids are delicate flowers, symbolizing care, attention, and love. Neglecting them mirrors the speaker’s emotional state, drained, unable to care, and overwhelmed. The follow-up line “I always water too much, I always care too much” reveals a pattern of over-giving, possibly one-sided affection that went unreciprocated. "Did you ever even love me? Did he ever even love you?" These questions show spiraling doubt and confusion, not just about the partner's feelings, but also about the person she may have left them for, possibly a love triangle or emotional cheating. "The texts he sent on back to me, levy for a sum so so much worse" This is more cryptic, but it reads like a metaphor for emotional debt. Maybe something cruel or dismissive was said that left a deeper scar. “Levy” suggests something owed or extracted, like pain used as payment.
song for osamu dazai:
The song begins with very quiet, softly picked guitar notes and the overwhelming crackle and breeze of white noise that feels as though it is taking over the song all on its own. The lyrics are intimate, melancholic, and emotionally conflicted, layering themes of obsessive love, loss, identity, and emotional aftermath. The title's reference to Osamu Dazai, the troubled Japanese author known for his existential despair and tragic death, sets a deeply introspective and sorrowful tone. "I can’t be anyone sincere to anyone else but you" captures a feeling of emotional exclusivity. The speaker can't be their full self with anyone else, suggesting that the relationship was so defining it eclipsed their other connections. In an unhealthy relationship, it is a common tactic for the abuser to isolate their partner, burn bridges with all their other friends or loved ones, until all they have left is their abuser. "Can’t take it back, the words I said when you were going away" regretting words spoken during a breakup or departure that now haunt the speaker. There's no fixing it, only lingering remorse. I love that after the halfway point of the album with “and abundance of hotel amenities” there is a clear transition from Side A to Side B. It is fascinating, rewarding, and beautiful to spot the parallels between the two halves of the album. This song clearly returns back to track three with the lyrics:
“Do the the laundry twice a day until you’re gone
take a shower twice as long
it’s not enough
my clothes still smell like you
sing your song
till you can’t breathe
pray to a god
that you don’t believe
I WANT TO get rid of you”
Some of the small differences between this verse and the original verse from “my clothes still smell like you” include:
“sing a song” vs. “sing your song”
“I CAN’T get rid of you” vs. “I WANT TO get rid of you”
The version of these lyrics from track three has a softer, more sorrowful tone, the actions feel like a mourning ritual, the kind of heartbreak that’s quiet and resigned; whereas this song carries sharper edges, bursting with urgency, frustration, and determination to move on from someone. The slight change from “a song” to “your song”, and “can’t” to “want to”, shifts the speaker’s emotional role from haunted to struggling for release. Continuing on we have, “I will try not to look away this time”
repeated again from earlier, this line is about facing the situation honestly, not flinching from the truth, from confrontation, or from vulnerability. It is devastating, the implications of this line after re-contextualizing it with the following lyrics, “my body is mine”. This could be interpreted a few ways; at first I took it as an abuser forcing their victim to look at them and see what they are doing, in a sadistic type of way. That may still be the case, but with the reclaiming of the speaker's own body, it is somewhat freeing and empowering; the speaker is no longer going to turn their back to the abuse and injustice they have been ignoring and allowing for so long. I think it's a beautiful way to view a very terrible situation. It is raw and intense, but it is full of strength and power to take back yourself and not allow anyone else to have control over your body, physically or emotionally, anymore.
instagram reel car crashes:
I love the way Quinn switches so seamlessly between calm, somber vocals to absolutely obliterating the microphone with screams. This is easily one of the rawest and loudest vocal performances so far on this album. The lyrics are a raw, emotionally charged stream-of-consciousness that explores themes of mental anguish, identity fragmentation, body dysphoria, nostalgia, and performative suffering, all layered through a lens of intimate confession and self-destruction. This opening sets the emotional tone, apologetic, anxious, self-aware. The speaker admits to overthinking and ruminating, a hallmark of anxiety and/or depression. The apology at the end feels casual but loaded; it implies a recent conflict, maybe caused by their tendency to spiral emotionally.
“I tend to overpopulate
my brain with the bad-bad things
that you would tell me to dissipate”
“Overpopulate” evokes an overwhelming mental crowd of intrusive thoughts, traumatic memories, or negative self-talk. Calling them “bad-bad things” adds a childlike, almost vulnerable tone. The reference to “you” suggests someone once tried to help, maybe a lover or therapist, but those efforts didn't stick. In the following stanza, there is a return of “overcomplicate” which reinforces the cyclical nature of their thinking. The line “my mother would be proud” is either sarcastic or tragic; maybe the speaker learned this over-analysis from their mom, or they think their suffering is their only remaining form of achievement.
“I’m scared of the mirror
I don't like what I see
and it doesn't like the likes of me
I take off my shirt
roll on the bathroom floor again
tear out my hair again
you always liked when I fell apart”
I love these lyrics! These stanzas dive into body dysmorphia or identity rejection. The speaker feels alienated from their own reflection, as if even the mirror is hostile. There’s a strong sense of self-hatred or disassociation. Taking off the shirt and rolling on the bathroom floor implies deep distress, possibly self-harm. The last line is chilling. It hints that someone watched, maybe even enjoyed or enabled their collapse, adding a disturbing power dynamic.
“I TEND TO OVERCOMPLICATE
ON ALL OF THE LITTLE THINGS
IT HURTS TO TRY
AND I DONT WANNA HAVE SEX AGAIN
I JUST WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN
IN YOUR ART”
As the vocals get unimaginably loud, the repetition intensifies the urgency. “It hurts to try” is blunt and defeated, signaling emotional exhaustion, maybe from simply existing or trying to function normally. The speaker draws a clear line between physical intimacy and emotional closeness. They don’t want sex, they want connection, creativity, maybe to be someone's muse again. “In your art” implies they felt seen or valued in a different, more soulful way.
“I TEND TO OVERPOPULATE MY HEAD WITH ALL THOSE LITTLE THINGS
with the likes of you and the likes of me”
Closing on a soft repetition of the earlier “overpopulate” motif, the speaker acknowledges the presence of both their pain and the people tied to it. It feels like a recognition that their identity and their pain are entangled with past relationships, and maybe even a resigned acceptance of that.
an evening stillness:
If you’ve been following and are on board with my interpretations of this album so far, just listen to this song. It is almost entirely instrumental, minus a brief callback to “march”. This is a song that can’t really be put into words, at least not by me. It is beautiful, it is weird, it is unique, and you need to listen to it.
until it gets bitter:
We are nearing the end of this album, finally making our way to the title track “until it gets bitter”. Many of the themes throughout this album are present in this song. It's a nice way to begin wrapping everything up, calling back, and preparing for the end. The narrator is haunted by love, regret, and confusion. There’s a recurring struggle with identity, self-worth, and emotional dissonance, feeling guilty for moving on, yet still hurt. “Will I ever be seen without being nude?” is striking. It suggests feeling perpetually exposed, never just seen as a person but instead as something objectified or judged. Vomiting scenes are repeated, here as well as throughout the album. “Throwing up in her bathroom,” “throwing up in the Wawa parking lot.” This may indicate disordered eating, anxiety, too much alcohol as a coping mechanism, or a symbolic purging of emotional overwhelm. We get a callback to “victorian summers” which pairs really well in this song's context:
“A victorian summer spent sweet together
I’ll love the memory till it gets bitter”
Characters like Daniel, the sister, and friends play small but significant roles: bringing water, holding hair, searching for keys. These moments of care are islands in the storm. I think these characters also mimic actions that our narrator took throughout the album. I specifically thought about “an abundance of hotel amenities” in reference to someone throwing up in the parking garage, the sister looking away, but the narrator deciding to stay. I thought that was a very interesting parallel, and it also shows that our narrator does have people that genuinely care about them. People who are doing these kind acts out of love and respect instead of feeling forced to or burdened by it. The song doesn't follow a strict narrative; instead, it moves through disconnected but emotionally linked vignettes. This mimics the feeling of spiraling thoughts or a memory montage. The tone is confessional, almost too raw to be performative. It invites the listener into a private space, filled with mundane but emotionally charged moments. Lines like “try to cry a little less,” “hold on a little more,” and the final “I will love you until it gets bitter” echo like mantras, as if the speaker is trying to convince themselves more than anyone else. This song is achingly honest, painfully so (in a good way). It evokes the tangled mess of young love, trauma, and identity. It doesn’t try to resolve the pain, but instead sits in it, cataloging the moments when it was too much, and the few when it wasn’t.
a different kind of love:
The album ends with a short track that is primarily just an audio clip from Quinn's former band. It gives off an intense sense of nostalgia for me; it's just friends being friends, being silly and weird together with no script, talking over each other, and laughing together. There isn't much to this song on the surface, just a quick outro song; However, I think it does a great job at bringing some sort of closure to the emotional rollercoaster of an album we just listened to. I don't know if our narrator ever fully accepted their trauma and the reality of their toxic relationship, but I think this finale suggests they will be okay eventually. Recovery and happiness do not work in a linear fashion, life is nothing but ups and downs, our narrator has plenty of things to work through and cope with, but we end the album with a small snippet of genuine happiness, one of the good moments. I think “a different kind of love” is supposed to refer to platonic relationships, bandmates, family; a type of love that is not romantic, and especially a type of love that is not controlling, codependent, abusive, or any other negative aspect. It is pure comfort, trust, security, and relaxation when you're with people who reciprocate your love, don't put unfair or unrealistic expectations on you, people who just love you for you and all of your flaws. I think this finale is also suggesting the beginning of an internal love. I think the narrator has finally taken steps to move on from this past relationship, and with time they have gone through all the stages of grief, their memories have become bitter, but now they are finally learning how to be comfortable on their own, figuring out who they are as a person, and what it means to be that person. Finally taking steps to love themself.
"until it gets bitter" stands as a poignant narrative of personal resilience and the complexities of human emotion. Through its honest storytelling and evocative melodies, the album offers a cathartic experience for both the artist and listeners navigating similar journeys. This album is a deeply vulnerable, coming-of-age record that doesn’t just chronicle heartbreak, it sits in the middle of it, unfolds it like a crumpled love letter, and dares the listener to do the same with their own grief. Quinn Patella's songwriting is raw, poetic, and often uncomfortably honest, unafraid to document the contradictions of moving on: moments of clarity, regressions into old habits, the aching nostalgia for things that hurt, and the softness of unexpected kindness. What makes this album stand out isn’t just its lyrical content, though that’s a major strength, it’s the tone. The lo-fi, almost diary-like production matches the emotional intimacy of the words. It doesn’t feel polished or produced to death; it feels like a voice memo sent at 3 a.m., like someone whispering their truth into a pillow. That sincerity makes it more than just a sad breakup album. It’s a living, breathing emotional landscape. It is a triumph of bedroom pop confessionals. A messy, gorgeous, painfully relatable expression of post-heartbreak survival. It’s an album for anyone who’s ever loved too hard, lost themselves, and started the slow, awkward work of putting the pieces back together. I appreciate you all for reading and listening! I hope you enjoyed and I ALSO hope you continue on and check out my interview with Quinn Patella, the mastermind behind I Didn't Water My Orchids Last Week, down below!
Interview:
Hey, Quinn, thanks so much for joining me to answer some silly goofy questions.
First and foremost, where did the name "i didn't water my orchids last week" come from?
Quinn: The name is very funny to me because it’s a like case of becoming the thing you’ve made fun of. When I was starting this project, it was intended to be a side thing and the name was making fun of all those skramz/emo bands with like really really long names that like kinda mean nothing — so like I did a spoof on that while whole heartedly believing this would not be my main project. I don’t regret it though, I think it’s kind of funny seeing this project which has like a lot of bedroom pop, folk, and noise pop influences paired with a bunch of heavy emo bands with similar names.
Over the last two years, you've built up quite a discography, how long have you been making music in general? How did you get started? What's your origin story?
Quinn: I started taking piano lessons almost ten years ago and would like sometimes try to sing my own little songs when I was a kid. I didn’t like really start ‘making’ music till I was 14, I started a project called ‘Boxhead’ which was like really shitty folk music on ukulele and guitar (I had just learned these instruments two weeks before writing my first song) and then it kind of like slowly progressed. I was a very big Car Seat Headrest fan (I still am) and like it kind of showed — I was basically ripping Will Toledo off. Eventually I started a solo project called ‘After School Distraction’ which is like when I started making decent music. I was very into Lo-fi folk and bedroom pop and wanted to like create something like that — eventually that turned into a band. I kind of eventually realized that it’s easier for me to work alone creatively rather than with a band and that I wasn’t satisfied with our releases; so I started Orchids as a one off ambient project. My partner at the time and I were going through my old voice memos and found a bunch of acoustic demos that I had recorded during like really bad moments of my life and they pushed me to release these — this is what lead to Stay Sweet Forever, that lead to Until It Gets Bitter, and now we are here.
You told me that this album was recorded between September 2023 and April 2024, I would love to hear more about your writing process. How do you begin a working on a song? Where do your ideas come from and what inspires you? Give me the full rundown of how one of your songs is created, from start to finish.
Quinn: My old method used to be me, an acoustic guitar, and a tape recorder. I’d improv lyrics and make sure I could barely hear them and then I’d reinterpret what I’d hear (Twitter gimmick account is a prime example of this method). Until It Gets Bitter was completely different, I got really into structuring my songs out and messing with the mixes way more. ‘March’ was a song I started almost a year prior to those dates I gave you, it was this like weird demo thing I had on my computer that I’d always come back to. I started out with the mellotrons, a simple guitar riff, a palm muted guitar, programmed the drums, and then wrote the lyrics while working on the mix rather than on my acoustic guitar. This method kind of became my default. For the actual like ‘writing’ part, I’ve always gravitated to writing about my real life. Until It Gets Bitter was about a love triangle between me, my ex, and my ex-best friend; the songs were written while I was navigating through this very volatile part of my life. I grew up loving confessional music and how intimate it was, I also have a deep admiration for romantic poetry and both of these things kind of show in my lyrics. Lyricism is my favorite part of music, being able to organize words to create a feeling - words fascinate me.
The first song on this album, "march", features Carter C, tell me how that all came about, how did you come in contact with them and how did you go about getting them to feature on this track?
Quinn: Cici (Carter C) and I met on a Car Seat Headrest fan discord like four years ago, we bonded over music that we both loved and then slowly became really friends. She’s an older sibling to me and also a mentor, when I was making really bad music — Cici was rooting me on and was giving me advice, Orchids would be nothing without Cici. When I was working on March and officially announced UIGB, I sent her a demo of March and she asked to do a verse on it. The whole “froggy hat” refrain at the end was written by Cici and I wouldn’t of had anyone else on that track, it’s equally her song as it is mine. By the way, that song is a behemoth of a logic file — it has like 342 individual instrument tracks; I am so glad Cici did it justice. #FriendsHouseFamily4Life #THETHRONE.
Do you have any dream artists you would like to collaborate with, whether it be a feature on a song or playing a show with them?
Quinn: Definitely a few, I would kill to play a show with John Darnielle (it’s a pipe dream) or even write with him. Hey, ILY is another one on that list, I use a lot of Bitcrush in my music and they are the goats of it — I would love to collab with them one day or even just play a show. My last one would probably be Car Seat Headrest, because it’s a middle school / high school dream that has not died.
Do you have a favorite song off of this album, or a favorite song you've ever written period?
Quinn: This answer always changes in my head, but Our Last Good Day has a special place in my heart — it isn’t lyrically dense and it’s not trying too hard. That song is about how when you end a relationship, you do not get to pick that last good memory you hold of someone — it’s normally something small. The vignette described in the song is about seventeen year old me cleaning my partner’s room while they were showering and then them hugging me before we fell asleep. I woke up and left a note saying goodnight since I had to bring the car back home. This is also like the only lyrically “happy” song on the album and it contrasts that like grief present throughout the album — even in our worst relationships, we still hold good memories of them after the novelty expires.
What were the first and last songs you finished for this album? What was easy/difficult about the process for these songs?
Quinn: the first one I started was March, but that was WAY before the album was planned. The first ‘real’ song I finished for this project was ‘An Abundance of Hotel Amenities’ and like it kind of shows, the quality is contrasted by everything else on the album. The last one I finished was ‘An Evening Stillness’ which has some of my favorite production on it. This song originally had vocals, but I was frustrated and deleted then. I had placed a deadline for myself and I was finishing up that track the day it was ‘due’, but I still love how it turned out. When im in that state where I’m constantly working on music, I become a perfectionist and that was very stress inducing while working on this project. It was my last thing before leaving High School and I really wanted to make it good.
I've been fortunate enough to see you perform live a few times, do you prefer playing live or recording in the studio? How does your live performance compare to your official studio tracks?
Quinn: It’s hard to say — I kind of prefer recording because I have more control of making a product what I want it to be. Within the studio (my dorm, fancy studio — I know), I get to like do little tweaks and can spend hours adjusting a drum machine or using the mix as an instrument. However, I like the energy of playing live — I get to perform in front of people and get them involved, I also get to transform this already existing songs into new forms. I tend to perform Orchids songs heavier in a live setting — nothing beats the energy of a crowd after you scream.
Since the release of this album, you have already released a new EP titled "skin as green as leaves" on January 10th, 2025. Do you have anything exciting coming up in the near future that you can share with us? What's next up on your musical journey?
Quinn: I’m lowkey always working on something. I have a few things in the work right now, mainly shows and collaborations with other artists — however I am working on the next Orchids album titled ‘dybbuk’, which is a concept album about living after sexual assault and trying to navigate that trauma within daily life / relationships. It’s a very important and heavy project for me, I plan on releasing it this spring or early summer - I want it to be fully what I’ve envisioned. It’s until it gets bitter on steroids. I’ve been working with different genres and song structures and I’m excited to present it, it’s a mix of Until It Gets Bitter style noise pop with emo revival and alt country.
Through our in-person conversations, we've had quite the discussions about Degrassi and Pokémon, amongst other things. What is your favorite iteration of Degrassi, and what is your favorite episode? What character from Degrassi do you most identify with? Also, what is your favorite Pokémon? And finally, what are some of the weirdest things you have in your wallet right this second?
Quinn: Had to rehash my knowledge on Degrassi, but time stands still pt. 1 and pt. 2 are great — as bad as the show is, those episodes are amazing and are kind of harrowing given the fact how common school shootings have become.
Degrassi next class is probably my favorite, due to the fact it is comically bad.
Craig Manning, he performs and stuff - I also like his storylines.
Garbodor — he’s just a pile of trash and that’s so awesome. Mudkip is a close second.
I have a guitar pick with your face on it and it is currently in my wallet.
I like to save some space at the end of my interviews for people to share any of their musical inspirations, who they're currently listening to, or give any shout-outs to anyone for any reason whatsoever, here is your chance to do so!
Quinn: Inspirations: Car Seat Headrest, Teen Suicide, Japanese Breakfast, The Mountain Goats, Slaughter Beach Dog, Pinegrove, Yeule, Awakebutstillinbed, Hey ILY, and Pill friends are amazing artists that have affected me. For music I’m working on now, I’ve been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen, MJ Lenderman, Modern Baseball, Joyce Manor, Little Big League, and everything above. Shout outs: Akordore - amazing musician, one of my best friends, and my live bassist ,Luke Sommers - my goat, best friend, brother, and live drummer Mirrorr - insanely talented multi-genre musician, I’ve had the pleasure of having him be my live lead guitarist Saige Ross - The artist that drew the cover of this album; genuinely one of my favorite artists ever. Carter C - She’s my goat, older sibling, mentor, and one of my best friends. Warm Wishes - Amazing artist who has influenced me so much. Mallard Westscott - Amazing artist!!! Dyaln Donovan - My GOAT he genuinely makes music that I can’t process how it’s made. Also one of the funniest people I’ve met. AJ from ODT (Old Dog Tendencies) - Always planning shows in the area, my goat, and one of my best friends. Also… Daisy Chain, Pollen, Small town punks united, CJ!!!, The Attic, all of Friends House, Kevin Mccune, Delia, and Cash Monkeys.
Thank you so much for joining me today, the way your brain works and how you are able to articulate your thoughts through words as well as through your music is incredible. While I was writing this review, I reached out quite a few times to ask you questions about specific songs and you always came through with an unbelievably well-thought-out explanation or interpretation, and I really admire and appreciate that.
If you are interested in listening to more From I Didn't Water My Orchids Last Week, PLEASE click this link right HERE!
(https://ididntwatermyorchidslastweek.bandcamp.com/music )
Related Posts
