"I Hate Fish Zoo!" by Fish Zoo (Inter-Review)
- cdromrabbithole
- Jul 11
- 3 min read
DISCLAIMER: FOR LEGAL REASONS, I AM REQUIRED TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS INTER-REVIEW HAS BEEN FABRICATED AND IS, IN FACT, FAKE!
*please don't sue me for defamation, Fish Zoo*
Today we're unfortunately reviewing the song “I Hate Fish Zoo!” by the terrible band Fish Zoo. This song was released today, July 11th, 2025. They thought it would be SO FUCKING FUNNY if they released a new song on 7/11. Well let me tell you something: it's not fucking funny. Fish Zoo can't keep getting away with this. I reserve the right to deny any music submissions that do not align with my values as a creator. But in this instance, I am writing this review because I'm trying to spread awareness for everyone to steer clear of Fish Zoo. This is the first song Fish Zoo has released in YEARS, following their song “Laundry Room Threesome” that came out on November 29th 2021. They make me sick. Whatever, dude. I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit (I don't get paid at all). No amount of therapy or doctors visits can fix the trauma that Fish Zoo has caused me. This band consists of four members that should all be in prison. They are:
Sir William: dogshit vocals
Shaggy Pigeonface: derivative and poorly executed guitar
Natty Ice: drums (they're not bad tbh)
Creamy Goose: dude literally just stands there and doesn't do fuck all. I don't know what his job is. I don't know if he's there just to look pretty or if he's the band's professional bootlicker or what the deal is. Literally just some guy.
Anyway, here's my review of “I Hate Fish Zoo!” by Fish Zoo:
It sucks and I hate it and no one should ever listen to this song.
Interview:
Hey, assholes. First question: why the fuck would you make me listen to this?
Sir William: idk man just felt like it.
Shaggy: I actually think this song is a commentary on late-stage capitalism and overconsumption in our society. This song also touches on the dangers of bullying. As you can see, this song is from the perspective of an emo fish that wants to make beautiful art, but his school of fellow fish are always shooting him down, never giving any support. And as a result of this, you end up with a band like Fish Zoo, which is no good for anyone involved.
Natty Ice: I play drums
Creamy Goose: where am I and what am I doing here?
This song really made me consider giving up on all my passions in life. What do you have to say for yourselves?
Sir William: you should do it
Shaggy Pigeonface: I'm sorry to hear that but I respect your decision if you choose to give up.
Natty Ice: I play drums
Creamy Goose: I remember when I lost my mind
I just really don't even know what to say to you right now. I'm actually speechless at your complete disregard for the wellbeing of your community. Have any of you ever taken a long, hard look in the mirror and reflected?
Sir William: well I actually prefer to keep my house rid of mirrors because I'm a ugly sack of shit. It's just safer that way so I don't have to constantly pick up shards of broken glass all day every day.
Shaggy Pigeonface: 🤓☝️ erm actually, the whole purpose of a mirror is that it reflects whatever is in front of it, so as a matter of fact, every time I look in the mirror I am reflecting.
Natty Ice: I play drums
Creamy Goose: dude, I just discovered this new thing called cheese, have you ever heard of this shit? It's baller, bro. Check it out. Cheese.
Have you no shame? Where is your human decency? I'm trying to connect with you as person to person, begging and pleading to tap into your humanity. Why can't we just have an adult conversation?
Sir William: I'm literally neurodivergent and a minor.
Shaggy Pigeonface: googoo gaga poop fart shit butt
Natty Ice: I play drums
Creamy Goose: my favorite part about pooping is getting to finger my butt with toilet paper when I'm all finished
I hate all of you.
Sir William: Thank you.
Shaggy Pigeonface: We hate you, too.
Natty Ice: drums
Creamy Goose: fuck fish zoo.
So there you have it. Inter-review with the worst band ever. If you want to block them on streaming platforms and social media, you can do so by clicking HERE!
Fish Zoo's music made me kill my husband. Very similar to Mark David Chapman reading The Catcher In The Rye
I hate fish zoo.
I have woken up from horrible night terrors every night for the last 4 years in fear of fish zoo releasing new music. This is my 13th reason.
Fish Zoo led me on for 3 years of my life. They held me close in the midst of the night, I told them things I've never told anyone, they told me they loved me and that they meant it. It was all a lie. All a ploy to get me to spread the word of Fish Zoo. I can't believe they could do such a thing to me, and I know I'm not their first victim. These menaces need to be destroyed. I will never recover from my broken fish heart </3
We have repeatedly sent cease and desists to Fish Zoo and they have refused to cease OR desist! I hate fish zoo and I want everyone to know it!